4.18.2011

Heart, Mind & Memories ♥

I guess there's a point in your life when you reach a crossroad. Searching, looking for something, but not knowing exactly which path to take. I feel like there's so much more for me to accomplish, but at the same time I also feel like I'm rushed for time.

There's still much for me to learn, to experience, to grow, and build a strong foundation of everything altogether. Maybe I'm just too caught up with things that awaits my future, to really focus on the present. I can't help but feel like my heart belongs elsewhere. That there's a missing link somewhere beneath all that certainty. Maybe I'll find it soon, maybe not. Maybe it's just a temporary feeling. But whatever the case may be, my trust in Him will not falter, and I will remain faithful to His plans for me. I have faith, and I'm allowing God to remain in complete control. Everything in His time, right?

It's funny how looking back - I was so set on moving. December 2010, I decided. (Kevin, you knew all along this plan would fall through haha.) My mind was made up my but heart refused to move. I was torn, conflicted and this was eventually left in the back burner. To be honest, I was hoping for a change. Any change. I felt like I needed to get away, and move to a different city. But that only meant leaving behind a life I was so familiar with here. My family, friends, and my church. I clearly wasn't ready. And neither am I ready to make that move now. I realized that my decision was based on emotions, that were temporary. My memories of the past were drawing me back in, to the life I once knew, and missed. Mainly, my memories with my family and   grandfather  before his passing. I was looking for something more, something more fulfilling.. when I should've directed that focus to honour and glorify God.

It can be hard at times, but I'm definitely putting my utmost trust in Him. I'd like to eventually reside in Singapore for a bit if an opportunity arises, and if His plan permits. But as for now, Vancouver's home

8 comments:

Kym said...

I FEEL YA 110%. I also feel like there's so much more to accomplish but a lot of the times, i feel lost b/c i don't know how to get there and accomplish the things i want to accomplish. Then i get reminded that God is in control, he has a plan for me, and i should just trust him. I was also tempted with the thought of moving to L.A for bigger opportunities but i couldn't... my family is here, my best friends are here, my life is here. Vancouver is home for now too ;)

Tessa Tham said...

I'm SO glad someone can relate! I remember us talking about this awhile back, and I'm glad we both decided to stay :) He's always wanting the best for our lives, and wouldn't put us through anything we can't handle :) Wooo Vancity! P.S We need to hang soon amidst all the craziness with your wedding planning and business :P

Selena said...

Awwwwe Tessa, it's amazing, though, that we are so blessed with SUCH an abundance of opportunities that we cannot even choose which path to take.

I think with all of the crazies going on in the world today, it reeeeally looks like we don't have that much more time to do all that our hearts desire from life. This is our temporary world, but God sure made it beautiful and so full of riches didn't He?? It's hard not to want to experience it all!

Sometimes we just have to be patient in that waiting room as He prepares our next course in the next room. I'm glad you realized the need to focus on what's around you while in that waiting room though :) Vancouver's a magnificent home *sniffs*

Maddalena said...

lovely!

camerafilmroll said...

"Searching, looking for something, but not knowing exactly which path to take."

I totally get that. -hugs!

Tessa Tham said...

@Becks
Thanks girl <3 :)

grace said...

I'm in the same boat as you are sister. I feel like time is running out for me, so I'm rushing to finish school and get a job but I want to do something that will make me happy..I still haven't found it though. On top of that, it's hard not to make plans and control the future my way because I really don't know what the future holds plus everything I do doesn't go as planned haha There's a time for everything and it takes a lot of patience and trust in God. I know my job is to be a student right now, so it's my job to study 110% for Him.
It's amazing that God knows what we need right now and we'll never understand until we REALLY get it haha

God Bless! <3

Tessa Tham said...

@Grace
I hope you find it soon girl :) Definitely pray about it! His plan for you always prevails. He wants the best things in life for you. Haha so true! We never fully get it at times.. but when we do, and finally see His big picture, it all makes sense. I'm sure He has great plans for you. It just takes patience, trust and a whole lotta faith. Everything in His time!

Thanks for taking the time to reply to this post!

<3