This will probably be my last post of 2009, unless I somehow am inspired to write about something significant that comes up within the next week or so. (Highly unlikely) Another year has come to an end, but I have to say.. it has been a good one. Naturally, there are the ups and downs, but that's life, right? At least I can say there were definitely more ups than downs this year. I can also say I've grown a whole lot this year, spiritually. This puts a smile on my face whenever I think about it. It's been a long.. and at times, very frustrating journey..but I have the best support system I could ever ask for. A lot of the times when something doesn't go as planned, or doesn't go the way we have hoped it would, we're angry at God, and ask him why. This happened quite a bit for me in the recent years. I guess it partly has to do with the instant validation I am so used to getting. (Which, is so not a good thing in some cases) However, I have really learned to trust God, and put my life into His hands. He has our lives planned out for us, so I believe everything happens for a reason.
It was also a year of major stepping up, and stepping out of my comfort zone. From performing on stage, to leading praise & worship.. yeah you could say it would be something I wouldn't have done a few years back. Or even thought of doing. I think I'm more comfortable with myself now. Not to say I wasn't before.. but I guess I'm more able to express how I feel, and how I really am in person. I have experienced a lot of "growing pains" in my early teen years, wearing the mask of many different characters, to the point where I wasn't sure who I was. I have fallen, and swayed to the wrong path in those tender and vulnerable teenage years.. But the experiences, needless to say, has taught me so much. And I couldn't have done this without the support and love from everyone. So I am again, most thankful for my friends at Church for everything they've done that has helped me grown throughout the past 2 years. You guys know who you are : ) Much love.
Relationships. Dun dun dun.. We have reached this topic. Nothing exciting has happened this past year, or rather I don't think it would be a great idea to talk about it on this blog. My close friends know what's up, so I don't have to explain myself. Other than some of the
Moving on to the not so wonderful moments of this year.. the loss of certain individuals in my life, that I hold close to my heart. It's sad that I have to say " I used to know you so well." I guess it happens. I wished it didn't, but there are some things that are beyond my control. Some are partly my fault, and some.. I can't even begin to grasp how it happened. How did it eventually lead to this? I wish that I could understand why, and that there were answers laying around for me. But that's not the case. It's almost like meeting them for the first time, and being strangers all over again. Breaks my heart whenever I think about it. Something I wish to leave behind in 2009.
Other than all that being said, I have to say this year was definitely a fruitful one. Sure, things didn't always go the way I intended it to, but the experiences and moments have shaped me into the person I am right now. And I wouldn't change a thing. So live, laugh, and love. Embrace every moment, whether it's good or bad. Living by that rule has made this year, for the most part.. an amazing one. I shall end the last post of 2009 with this..
"If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun." - Katherine Hepburn ♥